now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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