I think I am morally bankrupt
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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