She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
