He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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