she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize