A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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