My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
