It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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