I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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