i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
