yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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