me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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