her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
this boner is exhausting
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
