Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i now understand why vodka
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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