Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
