As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
