Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
