have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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