You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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