She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's shark week go big or go home
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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