So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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