so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
