Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
