I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
