Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
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