My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Well I just put wine in my tea
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