Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
operation harelip BJ is a go
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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