A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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