like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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