Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
