and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
