He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
