Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
