I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
