I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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