Texts From Last Night

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  (801): View more from Utah

  how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.

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  (801): how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up. http://tfl.nu/xh0f
  Replies (18) Good night (930) Bad night (2579)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw

  (281): View more from Texas

  I love Texas.

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  (832): Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw (281): I love Texas. http://tfl.nu/eppv
  Replies (48) Good night (3989) Bad night (536)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker

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  (509): I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker http://tfl.nu/fgze
  Replies (39) Good night (583) Bad night (2836)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.

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  (479): he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that. http://tfl.nu/u07t
  Replies (65) Good night (643) Bad night (4112)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.

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  (256): Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO. http://tfl.nu/k62i
  Replies (8) Good night (3477) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.

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  (303): I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us. http://tfl.nu/59u4
  Replies (8) Good night (1824) Bad night (525)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny

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  (515): you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny http://tfl.nu/4raj
  Replies (4) Good night (2174) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.

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  (607): Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night. http://tfl.nu/v41h
  Replies (6) Good night (2335) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.

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  (209): I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins. http://tfl.nu/devk
  Replies (11) Good night (2172) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  DR UNK TOWN USA

  (770): View more from Georgia

  TEAM USA GO AMERICA

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  (770): DR UNK TOWN USA (770): TEAM USA GO AMERICA http://tfl.nu/6sjd
  Replies (3) Good night (968) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.

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  (727): Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking. http://tfl.nu/0sjy
  Replies (2) Good night (856) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.

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  (518): It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic. http://tfl.nu/f2uk
  Replies (9) Good night (652) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside

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  (914): I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside http://tfl.nu/wdly
  Replies (3) Good night (620) Bad night (216)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it

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  (507): Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it http://tfl.nu/9eeg
  Replies (0) Good night (601) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"

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  (306): you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!" http://tfl.nu/t9vt
  Replies (1) Good night (665) Bad night (545)

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