In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?