yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
