If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
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my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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