So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
