Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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