ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
