i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
