we made out on top of his cat.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
