dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
