Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
operation have a gay friend backfired
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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