What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
