Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
