Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
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