Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
