she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
