I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
