Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
