STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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