how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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