i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
