I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
