:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
