I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
