wakey wakey hands off snakey
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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