I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
