yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
